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Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Some Days ...

I moved up here to be able to have sheep, work my dogs, and enjoy my life. And, for the most part, that's exactly what is happening. I like having the sheep, and sharing them with my friends, and giving others the opportunity to learn about something that still, to this day, blows my doors off -- a dog's natural instinct to gather livestock.

However ... there are those days where I wonder if my efforts are worth it, or whether I should just pack it up and move to a duplex that would be far less expensive, and much less work.

When I give to someone, I give my everything. I'll teach you everything I think I know, I'll provide you with all the resources I have, and you're welcome at my house any time -- until -- you breach my trust. The minute you start acting like I owe you something, I have no desire to deal with you. The second you start yammering on a public forum about how my intentions are less than genuine, don't expect me to be nice. And the day you show up at my house, unannounced, and accuse me of being a liar because I denied involvement in your paranoid schizophrenic conspiracy theory, I'd say we're no longer friends.

It's days like this where I question why I am so generous to people. It's days like this that make me wonder if going out in 10 degree weather to warm up a lamb that was just dropped in the middle of the night is worth it. When all my "spare" cash goes towards the sheep, and I'm struggling just to keep the bills paid for the house, and charging a minimal fee, if any fee at all, for everyone to come work dogs only for someone to turn around and stab me in the back and accuse me of "taking the money and running," I wonder if this is all worth it.

Then I remember all the good things that have come from this -- all the very close friends I've made, all the support the good people have given me; being there for me through my surgery; coming over and feeding me and taking care of the dogs and the stock and whatever else needed taken care of; the people who come over and work dogs and are in as much awe as I am; the dogs -- none of this would have happened if it weren't for the dogs ... and I don't know what I would have done without them these last few years; and the sheep ... oh the cute little lambies; all the quiet, warm nights hanging out with a handful of people out in the pasture watching the sheep chew their cud and letting the silence do the talking; watching the lambie races; being out in the middle of the pasture working a dog, and not having a care in the world ... but the most important thing being my friends -- my true friends -- and you all know who you are. Thank you!

DK: I am not going anywhere. Like I have asked you many many times, please leave me alone.

MM: Please get help.

Happy herding!

Jodi ... "Darling"

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