This is not a post about dogs or anything interesting. There are no photos. This is one of those that I'll probably delete.
I am in unchartered waters, and I feel like I'm about to drown.
I was married for quite a few years to a drunk. I grew up with drunks in my family, so it was very familiar territory. Somewhere along the line, though, like after the death of my mother, I decided life was too short to be treated like that, and I would rather be alone than deal with that every day. So I divorced him.
And it's been a struggle. But I've managed. With the help of many many people, I've fixed my credit, bought the house, and made it more comfortable to live in. And being alone, I'm emotionally safe. No one can hurt me. I don't need to open up to anyone. I don't need anyone to open up to me. And life just goes on.
And then ... out of nowhere ... you get hit in the head with a 90 mph baseball. Out of left field. The carpet gets pulled out from under you. The little "safe" ozone you've spent so much time creating has a leak. And something managed to seep in. And that leak is starting to turn into a gaping hole. And the safe zone is starting to fill with water. You have two choices. The safe thing ... run for your life. Or ... hop on the speedboat, wrap your arms around the captain, and go for the ride of your life.
I am a deer in headlights ... and just as scared.